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Your child’s brain on technology: Social Media

– Hank Pellissier

Is your child disinterested in video games, television, and texting, but alarmingly enthralled by social media sites?

Why is social media so popular? The two primary reasons — for people of all ages — include a love of “sharing” (46 percent) and searching for “entertaining or funny” content (39 percent). Women also list “learning about ways to help others” (35 percent) and “receiving support from people in your network” (29 percent) as major excuses to log in.

These all sound like healthy reasons to use social media. Nothing to worry about, so… what are parents afraid of?

Social media, like other technology examined in this series, has the potential to provide enormous benefits or catastrophic damage to your child’s frame of mind. It’s safe in proper doses that are cautiously monitored, but it can be harmful if obsessively used with wide-open access to age-inappropriate content.

Let’s examine the scientific research to see what should be on parents’ list of things to guard against.

Social network sadness?

Can a person’s obsession with Facebook lead to depression? Quite possibly, but opinions vary. A 2013 study of 190 college students ages 18 to 23 concluded that they “did not find evidence supporting a relationship between SNS [social networking services] use and clinical depression. Counseling patients or parents regarding the risk of ‘Facebook Depression’ may be premature.” A 2012 study of 160 high school students determined that “online social networking is related to depression,” — but that additional research would be needed to determine whether or not Facebook is triggering depression.

This finding was echoed by another 2013 study in which researchers report the more time participants spent on Facebook, “the more their life satisfaction levels declined over time.” The study noted that this negative effect didn’t happen from interacting with others in real life. On the surface, Facebook is an invaluable resource for fulfilling the basic human need for social connection. Rather than enhancing well-being, however, these findings suggest that Facebook may undermine it.

Am I too fat?

An April 2014 study of 881 college women who use Facebook regularly determined that “more time spent on Facebook was associated with more negative feelings and more comparisons to the bodies of friends.” The attention to physical attributes may be even more dangerous on social media than on traditional media because participants in social media are people we know.

An earlier study reached the same conclusion, with these dismaying statistics: “32 percent of users feel sad when comparing Facebook photos of themselves to those of their friends… 37 percent feel they need to change specific parts of their body when comparing their photos to others’, and… 44 percent wish they had the same body or weight as a friend when looking at the photos.”

International cyberbully

A 2014 South Korea survey of 4,531 youths ages 11 to 14 uncovered that 9.7 percent of the children were involved in cyberbullying — either as victims (3.3 percent), perpetrators (3.4 percent), or both (3.0 percent). These rates were much higher, however, in a 2009 Finnish study of 5,516 adolescents that found 10 percent of the boys had been victims, 10 percent had bullied, and 10 percent had witnessed cyberbullying. Among the girls, the figures were slightly higher: 11 percent, 9 percent, and 16 percent, respectively.

A 2012 poll conducted by The Global Research Company Ipsos showed even higher numbers: 12 percent of parents around the world reported that their child has been cyberbullied and 26 percent reported knowing a child in their community who has experienced cyberbullying. Of those, a majority (60 percent) said the harassment occurred on social networking sites like Facebook.

Parenting in the age of technology

Are there any simple rules for monitoring a child’s technology — whether it means video games, tablets, cell phones, TV or social media? Unfortunately, there’s still so much we don’t know about the long-term effects of technology on the brain. But since technology isn’t going anywhere, parents need to think carefully about the role it plays in our children’s lives. “Every child is different, so it is difficult to draw hard-and-fast rules, but I think wise parents go for less tech use rather than more,” concludes psychologist Jane Healy, author of Failure to Connect.

In the end, it’s vital to remember that your kids are watching you. The old adage “Do as I say, not as I do” just doesn’t work when it comes to technology. If your face is pasted to an electronic screen most of the time, your impressionable offspring will consider that normal — and do the same. Shut off all gizmos regularly and enjoy a face-to-face conversation. Take your children outside, without digital toys, and enjoy the wind, sunshine, trees, and flowers. Growing brains need the kind of nourishment that technology — no matter how sophisticated and bewitching — can never supply.

A Hypocrite

I was walking in a park and suddenly heard a mother getting angry with her son. As I reached closer, I found the mother telling her son to act as she expects. For a moment, I thought that the child must have done something against the norms of the family values or must have shown some misbehavior. To my surprise, I found her insisting on the child to ensure he lies about their whereabouts to his aunt.

 

This mother, like many other mothers, wants a moral value class for her son in school because she and the other parents who share the same Whatsapp group feels that this generation is not going the right way. Please do not think I am gender-biased, and there are ample examples where fathers, too, behave the same way. 

 

This shows a microcosm of what goes on in our society at large.

 

How many times have we encountered such double standard people? You would say a thousand times. When we retrospect, our own lives, we find ourselves too guilty of the same and that too now and then. The only difference is when it is about others, we are vocal about it, but when it is about us, we say ‘Oh! This last time’. Sometimes we also become that cat who closes its eyes and thinks no one is looking at it. 

 

These days there is this fad of ‘inclusive society,’ ‘inclusive education’… It sounds good, very fancy but in practical life who cares. We have escalators running across the roads for old, but most of the time, not in order. We have lifts meant for physically challenged people, but all are crowding over there. Buses have pictures indicating the public to give space to ladies, and the men say why should we when ladies want equality. And so is the case in railways counters, movie halls. Something is wrong somewhere, where else it can be, if not schools. Because school is the place where the future society is taking its shape, so, the school will have to take the onus of doing things right. And this causes the birth of moral science class in schools. A period in the time table weekly to teach children about what is right and what is wrong: the class begins, and the teacher teaches children to be honest, not to lie, copying is terrible, always respect everyone, how to behave with adults, on-road, in public, empathy for physically challenged, feeling of charity for poor. The child sitting in this classroom thinks it is for some superman to be able to do all this, not for us, mere human beings, and throws the lesson outside the window, which he just received it from his teacher. Five of them probably keep it with them to check if all that works in ‘normal’ life and finds most of it is dual. Out of these five, about three get frustrated in life, frustrated because they see meaning in the lessons given to them but no doers or takers in the real experience. Seeing the sad part of being one or two decide to change the path, and maybe the last one left finds it inappropriate to exist in this world. What has a moral science class done for us?

 

At every step, we have given children suitable lessons. Along with these lessons, we have also provided ample wrong examples. What we preach, we don’t follow ourselves, and we never walk the talk. Children are, therefore, confused, they find us adults hypocrites, so most of them just chose to grow into a hypocrite as that is the most natural path and easily acceptable in the society and some struggle throughout their life because neither they can leave those proper lessons nor can they get fitted in norms of the society. 

 

What do children need is to see the right examples, need adults whom they can look up to, people who live by their values and not by the glitters of the world. But where is the laboratory to grow such adults? What a vicious circle we are in!

 

We want something, we say something, and we do something. Heart and mind disconnected from each other. We don’t dare to walk the path, and we remain mediocre in our whole life and create mediocre after mediocre. 

 

So, would you like to bring some change? How?

 

                                            Trisha Chakraborty, Head Senior School, Suchitra Academy

“I Ask My Kids 3 Simple Questions Every Day”

– April Marie Gott Walker

Between sports and activities, Scouts and meetings, work requirements and family obligations, it seems that the moments we have in meaningful conversations are sometimes few and far between. Gone are the days when we come home from work and talk as a family while the newborn lies peacefully on my child. Gone are the days when we gather around the living room carpet and watch a toddler scoot and grunt. We have entered a new season of life — and it is busy and packed, and intense.

In the limited amount of time where we are together, I make it a priority to ask three meaningful questions. They are quick questions, so my children have no idea the inferring that can occur or the subtle hints I can pick up on. I never make them go into detail if they don’t want to, but I’m happy to listen when they do. I will never probe for more information, but I am a master at waiting silently to see if more will come.

Let me first start with what I do not ask. I hardly ever ask about a test score, a quiz, or anything academic. As an elementary school teacher myself, I assume my child’s teacher will keep me up-to-date on anything I need to know in that realm. It isn’t that I don’t care about grades and education. It is that I am their mom. When I am at home with my children, it is my job to be their mom.

I will keep them safe. I will love them. I will meet their basic needs. But there is also more that I need to do as their mother: I need to know that they are happy. 

The three questions that I ask each of my children every day, from the 2-year-old up to the 8-year old are as follows:

Who did you play with on the playground today?
What did you talk about at lunch today?
What was the bravest thing you did today?

1. Who did you play with on the playground today?

What you can learn from asking this question:

– Are they playing at recess?
– Do they feel like they are a part of a group when friends, or are they by themselves?
– Do they consistently play with the same friends, or are they meeting new friends?
– Are they running around and getting large motor exercise, or are they doing activities that don’t expend a great deal of energy?
 Are they happy?

2. What did you talk about at lunch today?

What you can learn from asking this question:

– Are they sitting by someone?
– Are they having conversations?
– Do they smile while recounting lunch?
– If they aren’t sitting next to someone, how do they feel about that?
– Are they scared of the chaos of the lunchroom?
 Are they happy?

3. What was the bravest thing you did today?

What you can learn from asking this question:

– Did they try something new?
– Do they take risks?
– Is kindness in their bravery?
– Is compassion in their bravery?
– Are they proud of their bravery?
 Are they happy?

Being a mom has easily been the most difficult job I’ve ever had. The sleepless nights, the constant worry, the anxiety of how it will all turn out in the end. But these three questions — they serve a purpose. They let me know when we’re “on track” and when we need to redirect. They are oftentimes a starting point to a bigger conversation.

Credits: www.scarymommy.com

Have we not done enough?

Sometime back I was thinking of the rat race we all are are in. Its not the first time in my life that I was thinking about it.
Whenever I hear or overhear parents talking about their children with all their eyebrows up and the lines of worry on the foreheads, it reminds me of my parents and our childhood days. Ours were no different and yet quite different. No doubt there were same fears of what will happen in future but with a slightly different outlook.
Thankfully my parents were never worried about raising their two daughters. For them settling down their daughters never meant making them doctors or engineers, nor were they worried about marriage which is still a big question to answer in most of the Indian households.
My parents were liberal enough and they left it to us to decide what we wanted to do in life.
And, so, I chose to become an educator and my sister a techie.
But soon I was made to realise by the world all around me that being an educator was not good enough because we still belong to a nation where teaching can be  done by just about anyone possible. The profession remains the first choice of parents with daughters and the first choice for those who are looking for daughter in-law. Strange but true! Reason? I am sure all my readers understand that well. I was disappointed that my parents had never warned me of this mentality earlier.
The other day I was told on my face that I am lucky to be in this profession as I can give quality time to my child. Before I could answer the person, my mind was jumping from one to the other work in my ‘to do’ list and then in no time I realised that more than 80% of my to do list is filled with my profession related work. And here was the lady standing in front of me and praising my luck.
I chose to remain silent because I felt what gross mis-understanding we all have about teaching. To quote it we call it noble profession but look at the noble thought people have assumed about us.
And the children for whom we work day and night, sometimes ignoring needs of our own biological children, also do not have teaching in their list of professions they aspire for.
Whom to blame? Have we not done enough? 
The other day we colleagues were discussing this issue among us, when one of us, by qualification an MBA, says she is looked down upon because she left her lucrative job to become a school teacher. These are the same people who send their kids to school and to a school teacher, for a better future. Ironic but true!
What will bring a change in the minds of people is a question I am still struggling with. But I am very hopeful that there will be a day when things will change for better.
People don’t see hope in making their children teachers but we instill HOPE everyday tirelessly in our children to remain hopeful, hopeful for a day when things will change and this side of life will also look greener.

                                               –  Trisha Chakraborty, Head Senior School, Suchitra Academy

In The Process Of Endless Discovery!

Our students Puneeth and Devansh had a time of their lives in Japan. The students were on an Exchange Program to Japan. The Asia Kakehashi Project, as the name suggests is bridging the gap between the diverse cultures that these students hail from. After an orientation session in Tokyo, they headed to their respective schools in the city of Shizuoka and Devansh in Kumon International School, Japan.

Puneeth got an opportunity to attend the Seiko Global Development Conference 2019.

Here are his reflections on the conference….

The Seiko Global Development Conference was held from 28th August – 5th Sept 2019. The conference was held to raise awareness about the current scenario of our planet – Earth. The conference taught the significance of the Sustainable Development Goals – adopted by all United Nations Member States in 2015 as a universal call to action to end poverty, protect the planet and ensure that all people enjoy peace and prosperity by 2030.
The SDGC had students from 10 schools, such as Jashore Zilla School-Bangladesh, Suchitra Academy – India, Indonesia- MAN Cipasung, Shizuoka Seiko Academy and Shizuoka Seien Girls’ High School – Japan, Maktab Sultan Abu Bakar and Malay College Kuala Kangsar – Malaysia, CRPAO SCHOOL and Vajiravudh College – Thailand & Marie Curie High School- Vietnam.
On 28th and 29th August we had spent time in Tokyo, sightseeing, we were taken to the Tokyo Skytree and went on a scavenger hunt around Tokyo intending to go to as many checkpoints as possible, which my group had won. After the long tiring day, we were yet to board a 5- hour long bus back to Shizuoka.
The next day we were taken to a local garbage plant to see the process of waste management, for which Shizuoka is well known for. The executives at the garbage plant had also presented to us the step-by-step process from collection to disposal and treatment. Further that day, the government servants of Shizuoka City explained Japan’s role in implementing SDGs and that 36% of the population of Shizuoka was aware of the SDGs. We also learned that Japan ranked 15th out of 156 countries trying to implement the SDGs, whereas countries such as India and Bangladesh ranked 112th and 111th respectively.
On the 31st, few of us had visited a village near Mt. Fuji called Oshino-Hakkai; with the cold breeze blowing, we went shopping for souvenirs and more. Thereafter, we were taken to the Lake Kawaguchi, which is a part of the GOKO- “go” meaning five and “ko” meaning lake, that is the five lakes around Fuji-san. Here we rode a cable car, to reach the viewpoint to see Fuji-san amidst the clouds.
The following day was spent working on the steps we would take as tomorrow’s citizens to combat today’s crisis. A couple of workshops were conducted, and everything discussed during the group workshops was to be presented on 3rd September, to our school’s students including a few government officials who added up to 500 people in the audience. We spent 2nd September finalizing our presentation along with a tour of the Tamiya headquarters here in Shizuoka. Tamiya is a very famous, here in Japan as well as other countries throughout the World for making world-class, miniature models of military tanks, naval ships, fighter planes, sports cars and many more. They had displayed a section of the Headquarters where these models rebuilt and made into humanly-driven vehicles.
My group had presented ways to combat environmental damage. We thought it could be done by following the Triple R Rule and conducting research to and somehow use Plastic as a Fuel. The presentation was followed by cultural performances from the schools from Thailand,
Malaysia, and Indonesia. And then we have a farewell party as this was the last of the summit in Shizuoka.
The next day was scheduled to have a surprise Tokyo sightseeing and we were informed on the way we would be taken to Tokyo Disneyland that day. This announcement was followed by cheers and smiles on the students’ faces. And finally, after spending the day having fun and enjoying at Disneyland, it was time to say goodbye the next day. We had seen off our friends from Vajiravudh College and MAN Cipasung from Thailand and Indonesia respectively.

The secret weapon for school success!

Is your child having behavior problems and trouble in school? Making sure she gets enough sleep may be the solution. Lack of sleep is a national epidemic for today’s children, and the consequences are serious. Sleep deprivation can affect cognitive skills and academic achievement. A continuing lack of sleep is linked to serious health problems including diabetes, obesity, heart disease, depression, and a shortened life span.

Why aren’t kids getting enough sleep?

Children ages 6 to 13 need about 9 to 11 hours of sleep. Yet studies show that most kids are getting about an hour less sleep each night than they did 30 years ago.

Why? Working parents who get home late may feel guilty and want to spend time with their children in the evening. Too much homework and the many distractions of television, video games, and computers all play a role. In addition, all the pressures and stresses of today’s frenetic lifestyles may make it difficult for kids to calm down so they can fall asleep.

Seven ways to be your child’s sleep advocate

  • Talk to your child about sleep. Have a conversation with your child about the importance of sleep. Educate your child about how much sleep he needs and how it will affect his performance. If he wants to do well in his football game, or on a test, make him aware that he will do better if he gets more sleep.
  • Encourage your child to establish a sleep routine. Encourage your child to stick to a regular sleep schedule. School-age children need an average of 10 to 11 hours of sleep each night. Insist on a regular bedtime and wake-up time. Have a regular quiet, relaxing bedtime routine such as reading to your child or reading together to help him slow down before going to sleep.
  • Say no to late-night TV and computer use. Keep the computer and TV out of your child’s bedroom. It’s a good way to monitor his screen activities and make sure he doesn’t stay up past his bedtime. If he insists on watching TV right before bedtime, you can tell him to start getting ready for bed during the commercials and to record “must-see” late-night shows and watch them at another time.
  • Check-in with your child’s teacher. Ask your child’s teacher if your child is alert or sleepy in class. If he is frequently sleepy in class, that’s a sign that you need to help him get more sleep.
  • The pros and cons of naps. A short nap after school (no more than 30 minutes) may be refreshing, but don’t let your school-age child sleep for hours during the day as this will throw off her natural sleep schedule. It may be a stretch to convince your school to provide a time for naps, but it is done in Japan. Schools there encourage “power naps” at lunchtime when students put their heads down on their desk for 20 to 30 minutes.
  • Exercise plays a role in keeping a regular sleep schedule. Exercise is very important, particularly getting outside and getting morning light. But exercise raises the body temperature so it is not a good idea to exercise right before going to sleep. That means it’s important to regulate organized football and baseball games so they are not scheduled too late into the evening.
  • Be a role model. Show your child that you make sleep a priority in your own life. Children are more likely to follow your advice if you follow the same rules for yourself.

Credits: www.greatschools.org

Parents, We Need to Let Our Kids Fail If We Truly Want Them to Succeed!

As I watched my middle school students walk into the classroom today, I thought of the diversity of the group. Some of my students walked through my classroom doors with a parent-packed lunch. Others set their own alarms and caught the bus alone.

The thing is, these details have little correlation with their ability to fail. It’s not a packed lunch or extra responsibility that will allow our students to thrive; it’s a mindset we are responsible for teaching them.

We must stop protecting them from failure.

Our instinct is to protect—protect our children from being upset. I want to see them happy, just like you, but sometimes, long-term happiness comes from being upset at the moment.

Mom or dad, you and I must stop protecting them from failure at home and in the classroom. We must resist protecting them from sadness or disappointment. To protect their future, we must stop protecting their “now”. We must stop protecting them from uncomfortable and necessary growth.

Mom or dad, if you want your child to learn from their mistakes—let them take the bad grade. Don’t ask for a second chance. Life doesn’t hand out second chances. Let your child make the mistake. I promise you, this mistake is so very minor compared to the unfortunate seed it will plant in your child’s head if you corner a teacher and make them allow that second chance.

The teacher will give that second chance; but never because she wants to or because it will help your child. She will give that second chance because the alternative is impossible. The alternative means dealing with a parent-teacher conference when she already has a second-afternoon job. If she doesn’t just go along with your Plan A, her Plan B will take time away from the other students. It will mean a missed class because of an RTI meeting in which she will be drilled with questions like:

“What are YOU doing to make sure this child passes?”

“What is YOUR plan for ensuring this child’s success?”

She wants to tell you “no, he needs to learn” but she’s all but forced to say “yes”.

Allowing our children the space for accountability is not easy. It’s as simple as accepting a football game loss instead of gossiping about the referee. It’s allowing our children to see us fail and get back up again. It’s showing that we are the rule-enforcers but also admitting we are human. It’s apologizing when we are wrong. It’s letting them fall without interfering.

I believe we can all agree that our children need praise; our words become our children’s inner monologue, but that praise is often misplaced. We tend to heavily praise the accomplishments and dwell on the failures. We lose sight of the part that matters most: the effort. A perfect average or a big win won’t carry our students through adolescence into adulthood. Resiliency is the trait that will ensure our kids’ long-term success.

Parents, I ask you to please hold your children accountable. Don’t give them a warning and choose not to follow through. I know that it happens sometimes; I do it, too. However, we have to work together for this to work for your child, because whether you like or not, they will spend almost as much time with their teachers as they do with you. Not only do we deserve respect, but your child deserves the discipline. Your child deserves the restrictions and the healthy boundaries. Our job is not to make your child happy; our job is to help them grow.

A big part of growth is failure.

 

Credits: www.boredteachers.com