One of these days, a child came to me with much pain in her heart!
Once she narrated the reason for her pain I was in two minds- did she come to me because she trusted me that her problem will be resolved or was her coming with an intention to complain against another?
I thought for a fraction of a moment and realized that the dialogue going on in my mind was nothing but a Seed of Doubt and if I deliberate on it further, I will only let the thought Germinate and Nourish till it puts a label about the child in my mind. So I immediately told myself that her reason for coming to me doesn’t matter but if I can guide her right, it will impact her positively.
So, the reason for her pain was that a few children of her grade, but from another section, started telling her what she had scored in her Half Yearly Examination. It was about a subject where these children have a common teacher. As the teacher didn’t share the answer scripts with her section yet, she had no clue of what she had scored. But when she got to know about her marks from others she inquired how they had come to know about it. These children told her, as the teacher is common to both the sections, the teacher did share the other section’s children’s marks with them too.
This girl was very upset, she felt when she herself is not aware of her marks why the other children were told about her marks.
After listening to this it was important for me to guide her and make her strong. At no point, I wanted to tell her that I’ll speak to the teacher. That would have meant two things- I would have shown her that the teacher was weak and I must change her way of dealings or anytime children have a problem they should approach me instead of the teacher.
I did what I felt was best at that moment. I asked her why she had believed that the teacher must have shared her marks with others. Her answer to that was that three different people at different times told her the same marks. So I told her it could be a planned trick on her too. Then I asked her if she had gone directly to the teacher and asked for the truth. Had the teacher given a reason which is not logical to her? Was the teacher not ready to listen to her? She had only one answer – NO! But she said that she had spoken to her class teacher about it.
I asked if going to the teacher would help the matter better. Her response was- will she understand? And my immediate response to her question was- has she already decided in her mind that the teacher is not going to listen and understand, has she already accepted that the teacher shared the marks, has she already framed an opinion in her mind that the whole story is true without even talking to her??
I told her she can only be at peace if she hears it out from the teacher else there are always chances of misunderstanding and doubts. I told her that I don’t know the reason but my heart says that even if I assume the teacher has done something wrong, she will listen to her, accept it and will not repeat it.
Finally, she went to the teacher and spoke to her directly. While she was coming back to my room to share the conversation that she had with the teacher, I could see her walking with a big smile and peace on her face.
I knew I did the right thing – when children grow in an environment of Trust and when they are guided to see Perspective they will grow into mature adults who will believe in resolving an issue through dialogue instead of mulling over it and labeling people.
End of it, I was not only happy because I could sow the seed of Trust in her but I was also very proud of believing in the teacher.
I am sure the girl will take this message that whatever happens, you can’t distrust your own colleagues. Had I doubted the teacher I would have done exactly the same what the child was doing.
I hope I succeeded in making her better equipped to deal with situations that we all come across every now and then. I would love to hear from the readers if there is a better way I could have taken this up.
Not just with the children, this ‘Trust’ is important to have in all of us, where we don’t jump to conclusions but actually stop to think ‘maybe there was another point of view, maybe there was another reason’ than what we are assuming and seek a dialogue!
-Trisha Chakraborty, Head Senior School, Suchitra Academy